Walking on the street, we often see stylish urban women;
They dress trendy, accessorize meticulously, walk with determination, exuding unique confidence and charm.
But in life, there are also many girls who are completely uninterested in this kind of “refined lifestyle”:
Skincare using only baby cream, clothes as long as they are sufficient, homes decorated extremely simply, rarely socializing even once every six months…
Can you accept this almost primitive way of life?
Some people say: “Simplicity is a philosophy of life, a return to life’s essence, and also deep nourishment for the spirit.”
From a psychological perspective, women who are not social, don’t wear makeup, and don’t dress up are mostly destined for these three fates.
One, Economic Independence, Relying on Yourself
Because of economic independence, she has the confidence to be herself and doesn’t need to cater to others’ preferences and gazes.
Because she can support her own living expenses, she has the courage to pursue a life that she finds comfortable.
In the variety show “Our Fathers,” there is a “humble” full-time housewife from a wealthy family who doesn’t even know how much property she has at home.
Fu Xiaojie, the beauty of the Central Academy of Drama, met Huang Yan, who was already the president of a company, during her junior year, and the two soon fell in love.
During the relationship, Fu Xiaoqian pursued her acting career, but it ended due to Huang Yan’s strong opposition.
After graduation, Fu Xiaoqian married into a wealthy family and became a full-time housewife, giving birth to two lively and adorable children one after another.
I thought life in the upper class should be smooth sailing and incredibly fulfilling, but over the years, the money she had was only enough to buy a car.
Huang Yan frankly stated: “My company belongs to me personally, and how much assets I have, she (Fu Xiaojian) basically doesn’t know. I also won’t change my money management path because of her.”
In life, Huang Yan is also extremely impatient with his wife and children: As long as it’s something he decides, anything Fu Xiaojian says will be directly cut off, with no room for objection.
Even he was scolding his wife, “As a mother, what can’t you manage? Can’t you even manage one child?”
On the one hand, he never participates in his child’s life, yet shamelessly hopes the child “can get rid of some feminine emotions.”
Social status is built upon economic status. When a woman truly achieves economic freedom, that is the beginning of all life freedoms.
II. Free and Clear, Unbound
Psychologist Carl Rogers emphasized in humanistic psychology that a complete personality is an upward-looking, self-directed, resilient, and creative individual.
Only when individuals can autonomously choose their preferred life patterns and directions can they maximize their self-potential and reach the level of self-actualization.
Nowadays, there are many people trapped in the consumption trap, unable to extricate themselves, unknowingly depleting their wallets amidst various full-price reductions, pre-orders, and promotions;
Under the guidance of various trends and fashion directions, they constantly change their hobbies, pursuing the most advanced and cutting-edge products and lifestyles.
Actually, if you think carefully, do you really need these things, or do you need the “noble status” or “others’ admiration” that they package for you?
True happiness and fulfillment do not come from material consumption. When a woman detaches herself from consumerism and returns to a simple life, she has actually already completed her self-identification and self-respect.
Because respect is never given by others, but earned by oneself.
III. High-Quality Socializing, Dare to Say No
When maintaining a relationship, do you also find it difficult to say no and criticize others?
In the morning, your roommate’s alarm wakes you up, but not him. You endure it and put on earplugs yourself.
Team-building dinner, you can’t bring yourself to say no to a leave request or refuse, and are forced to drink a lot of alcohol; the next day you have a splitting headache and go to work.
A friend wants to borrow your car, and after returning it, you find the gas tank is almost empty. You feel too awkward to ask for money, so you have to drive it off yourself and end up spending an extra two hundred on gas…
From the perspective of evolutionary psychology, the human brain is naturally equipped with a “social reward system.” When we engage in behaviors that integrate us into society, we achieve psychological balance;
And behaviors that lead to isolation and exclusion bring anxiety and insecurity.
This is why we always find it hard to refuse others, yet comfort ourselves afterward with thoughts like “吃亏是福” (loss is blessing) or “it’s good as long as you’re satisfied with yourself.”
However, excessive behavior of pleasing others can trap people in endless internal exhaustion, because the essence of pleasing others is still one’s own interests being compromised.
Saying “no” bravely is actually a higher definition of self-worth, and it can also maintain mental balance. It is the best way to protect our own interests from being harmed.
When you refuse all useless social interactions, you will find that life is actually so free and beautiful.
In this world full of extravagance and noise, we are often swayed by external voices, living according to the rules set by others.
Why not slow down and listen to the voice only you possess within? You will find that true happiness has nothing to do with any external labels:
You just need to love yourself enough.
